what?? what???

To the short list of things that don't quite make one's heart sink but that one still really doesn't want to hear coming from a plumber who's just hammered and sawed three large holes in one's kitchen ceiling to attempt to find the source of the bilge-water that recently cascaded into the kitchen via the over-the-stove lamp, water-feature-style, we can now add: "Hmm. I'm thinking this... No. No, that would just be too weird. No."