get my hat off the rack

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Spent most of the time since my last post on a great big boat with Lisa, Sterling and the in-laws. It's difficult to say anything about cruises that "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" didn't cover, so I'll only note: it's a lot like being in the world's tiniest hotel room, within the world's biggest airplane, except that there's also an enormous amount of pretty good food, and a significant concentration of drunk teenagers. And lots of drinking/performance lounges, all of which seemed to be named after Broadway musicals: "A Chorus Line" I can see, but "Paint Your Wagon"? And ping-pong tables; thanks to my disreputable backhand, there is currently a lonely little white ball floating somewhere on the surface of the Caribbean. Also, inevitably, karaoke. (For the record: "I'm a Believer" with the lounge's house band, "The Rock the Boat Band," went over decently--a drunk teenager saw me the next day and said "are you gonna do that Shrek song again?"; "Cruel To Be Kind" was a terrible idea for this crowd.)

Weirdest interlude of the trip was definitely the day on Cococay, the island owned by the cruise company. The thing is, Cococay isn't really a place--there's really nothing of itself about it. Every square meter of it is meant to evoke the experience of "being on an island in the Caribbean"--just not this island in the Caribbean, specifically--down to the guy who has a job I can't imagine anyone not getting sick of within the first hour: wandering up and down the beach with a tray, yelling "Island drinks! Is-land drinks!" I mean, white sand beach, pretty ocean, baby on my chest, cold lemonade at hand, nothing to complain about there, and not that there's any culture indigenous to what I'm sure was an uninhabited chunk of rock before the terraformers showed up. Just... could the cruise line maybe have thought about coming up with something that would hint at an identity of its own? As much as Virgin Atlantic's Rian Hughes-animated safety announcement, or The Village's typeface, or...

Fascinating conversation with my old co-worker Cheryl today. She's now working at a company that prepares ringtones for mobile phone companies, and notes that there are certain specific lengths that various kinds of phone tones need to be, and that the smart pop people right now are writing hooks to precisely those lengths. "'Hung Up'? That's one of them. Even the title of that song: 'I'm hanging up on you!'"

Winner of this week's comics batch: GLX-mas Special, which includes a scene in which MODOK yells "NOT THE FACE!"

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This page contains a single entry by Douglas published on December 14, 2005 11:46 PM.

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