I didn't promise you stories--those I'll give you in person. I promised you details:
The "ball pit" in Flight to Mars's maze that you had to enter head-first on your back so you could be pulled up by somebody's flailing hand through several feet of little plastic balls and then dive back down to find your way out - the Owl's Roost with its Chinese-restaurant condiment temple and Oblique Strategies coin-op "pill" machine - Lisa's brilliant invention "Truckocopia," a little remote-controlled truck with a trunk full of presents and a tape player blaring Herb Alpert's greatest hits that she drove up to people to give them nice little things (and ended up getting almost as many back) - Lisa's jeweled Camp Juju Apple photo sign and Jess's enormous Homeland Security Sound System banner and puffy yellow-on-black HS3 armbands - the Golden Shower of Comfort with its video cameras installed in the corners to discourage outside campers from adding to the gray water (and its strictly enforced no-showering-alone rule) - the Chi Spot - Angie in her doctor's gown sticking a stethoscope onto everyone's chest and giving them sugar pills - Comfort and its piles of soft things and mammoth 50-gallon bag of candy-coated popcorn - too many people giving away little beads and trinkets - Antoun & Raven's "Four Elements of Burning Man" T-shirts ("blinky/thumpy/furry/naked") - Comfort publishing its own literary magazine - the House of Cards - the Man with its pyramid base, temporary human statues, and insta-shrines - the incredible Temple of Honor and the hordes standing around it on Sunday afternoon sobbing - the twenty-foot-high chandelier that fell from the sky and crashed into the deep playa - the giant urinal that was allegedly a tribute to Duchamp but actually didn't come off so interestingly - the "DNA platforms" - Liz Goodman's florid letter of introduction for her friend Gabriel Roth - Aaron Mandel's totally brilliant one-year-later-but-still-instant story - "No Diving," the video pool installation on the path to the Man, and how it was sort of outclassed by the actual pool one camp brought - Kira and her stripper pole and "boob bike," Eric with his printed furry gear, both of their can-do attitudes - the "imaginary tattoos" and "imaginary piercings" I gave people (took a Polaroid, drew the tattoo on the Polaroid or pierced the Polaroid with a little labret, gave the subject the Polaroid) - the Mojito Hut, which brought God's perfect food, Pringles (Lisa on dropping one: "POOP!--Pringle Out of Place!") - her Pink Rock City project - "watch out for the sandworms" - the Church of Wow and their actually inventive laser/smoke machine combination - the couple whose wedding ceremony I performed on the street, in front of a 15-foot-high "sex sling" that some guy came over and asked if he could borrow - the bagpiper at the burn playing "Iron Man" - Meredith's theremin/violin set at Center Cafe - the Spoon Return Center in all its glory - the Eggchair vs. Pyromid Death Match - the colored/illuminated X-ray charts in the Wholly Other - the woman who beckoned me over, whispered "love! love! love! love!" and hit me in the chest to make sure the idea sank in - kindly, innocent Michael restraining Meltdown Girl at the temple burn - the wedding in Comfort being restaged after the groom's mother arrived a day late - the Sunrise Station, a little NYC-style "subway station" way way way out on the playa, aimed to face the rising sun (and the couple having some fun in there who recognized me when Lisa & I arrived there in the middle of the night and yelled "Hey! Tattoo guy! Come on in!") - the fig-leaf-wearing couple passing out refrigerated slices of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the middle of the day - carrying a yoke of lanterns on my back on the Lamplighters' path Monday night - La Contessa, the galleon on wheels, zooming across the playa and drag-racing a couple of whales - the 70-foot-high pyramidal Comfort beacon (and the plan to turn it off for a little while after the burn to confuse trippers) - the unexpectedly adorable and touching Temple of Dog - the gigantic and scary-looking Temple of Gravity - dust all over everything, of course.